Benjamin is such a joy in my life these days. He is so cute and fun. He is learning new things everyday! His smile lights up the room, he has started giving me wonderfully slobbery kisses, and its fun to see the excitement in his eyes when Dan or I walk into the room.
Most days I can't believe Benjamin is all mine, to love and snuggle all I want. He is a huge blessing in my life, and I know both him and I have changed a ton in the last 8 months! His changes are just a lot more noticeable ;)
Benjamin's birth was a horribly traumatic experience for me. Looking back I wish I had been prepared more for the immense pain and stress. I walked away from the hospital with some PTSD and anxiety about the whole situation, and it took me a long time to deal with those feelings. To be completely honest, I still am dealing with them. The long labor, difficult birth, and Benjamin's problems afterwards have all led to feelings of anger and inadequacy on my part. I wish it had gone better, I wish I had been better. It took me a long time to bond with Benjamin because of these feelings. I loved him from the beginning, but it wasn't that love of adoration and excitement that I had expected. That type of love took time, a lot of time for me. I think Benjamin was probably 5 months before I could look down at him and smile, feel lucky that he was mine, and grateful that he was in my life. I feel so blessed to have him now, to have those feelings where one little smile from him makes me feel like a million bucks! He is such a big part of who I am and who I want to be. I can finally say that I simply can't imagine a life without him in it!!
Benjamin, at 8 months old, is a pretty great baby. Bedtime is at 8pm, which gives mom and dad a few hours to themselves. That time is so precious and wonderful. He has been sick the past couple of weeks, so has been waking up twice at least every night. But he usually eats like a champ, and then falls back to sleep. Benjamin gets two naps everyday, and I try to work on homework while he is sleeping. I'm loving my MPA program and I'm grateful it is flexible to work with my mommy-schedule. Benjamin eats solids everyday and he has gotten much better at taking a bottle! He is getting so mobile these days! He rolls and turns all around the floor, and he is just beginning to inchworm his way around!! He will be full-on crawling in no time!!
Benjamin is such a doll!! But this month was HARD to get a good picture of him!! More often than not they looked like this:
He is such a wiggly worm! Luckily my sister took some amazing family photos for us, and I'm so excited to share them!! The second I get them from her, they will be up on this blog!! Yay!
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