Benjamin Roy: A Birth Story

*This is a birth story. I've decided to include as much detail as possible, so if you don't want to know details, don't read it :) It's also going to be extremely long*

I first want to say that giving birth was by far the hardest thing I have ever done. Emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually; it took everything I had. I would not have been able to do it without Dan by my side. He took amazing care of me, and helped me make it through in the moments I didn't think I could keep going! 

On 2/3 Dan and I went to my 38 week appointment, although I would have been 39 weeks in only two days. At every doctor appointment since about 13 weeks I had had high blood pressure, and at this appointment there was no difference. I also hadn't made any progress as far as dilation/effacement goes, so my doctor was a little concerned. Because of this, he gave us two options; we could either be induced at 39 weeks, which would increase our likelihood of having a cesarean section, or we could wait until I was overdue and then get induced at 41 weeks. Baby boy would be a lot bigger and our chances of a cesarean section would still be increased. My doctor assumed that since I hadn't made any progress up to this point, I would most likely go overdue and would possibly have to be induced anyway.

I really didn't want to end up having a c-section, mostly because I didn't want to limit the number of children Dan and I could have in the future, but I also wanted to do what was best for me and our baby. Dr. Young was going to let Dan and me choose, but I looked him in the eye, told him he was the medical professional, and that we would do whichever he thought was best. He decided that because of my high blood pressure it would be best to induce at 39 weeks. He also assured me that, because this was my first baby, we would take things slow and not rush into a c-section. That helped to calm my nerves.

Dan and I both started freaking out a little bit, because all of a sudden we would be going in the very next day to start the induction process!! So crazy! I know I was extremely anxious, but also ready to be done with pregnancy!! The last few weeks had been physically exhausting. 

We showed up at the hospital at 6:30 pm the next evening (Wednesday). I got changed into a hospital gown, they hooked me up to a bunch of monitors, gave me an IV, and then started me on Cytotec. Cytotec is a drug that causes the cervix to soften so that Pitocin will be more effective when they start you on it. A lot of people, when they are induced, just start right on Pitocin, because their body has already started to soften the cervix on it's own.  My body, however, had done no such thing!

Right after we arrived! I'm excited to start the whole process!!

We knew we were there for the long haul, so that first evening we just tried to hang out and relax. We watched lots of Supernatural episodes, discussed the major life changes that were about to happen, and just tried to enjoy our evening together. Every four hours I received another dose of Cytotec, and around midnight I started cramping and got really uncomfortable. I tried to sleep, but my rest wasn't all that restful. Between the monitors covering my abdomen, the cramping, and the jittery excitement, sleep was hard to find!

At about 7:30 am the next morning I had a pretty strong contraction/cramp and felt something pop behind my belly button. I told Dan about it, and he asked if my water had broken. I didn't think it had because no water had leaked out, but after the popping sensation I started to have pretty painful contractions. The Dr. was set to come in at 8:00 to check on me and break my water anyway, so Dan and I just sat around and waited. Meanwhile, Dan tried to distract me from the pain. At 8:00, Dr. Young came in, and when he checked to see how dilated I was, my water finally gushed and leaked out. Dr. Young and the nurse were surprised that my water had indeed broken on its own, and that explained the painful contractions that I had started having. My water gushing was one of the strangest feelings ever. It seriously felt like I was peeing all over myself, and I think there were a few times where I honestly thought I had.

After the Dr. was done, the anesthesiologist came in and started my epidural. The epidural completely stopped the pain, at least for the time being, and I was able to relax. They also started Pitocin at the same time. Baby Benjamin wasn't really a big fan of Pitocin. His heart rate never fell, but it didn't have the variability it needed to in order to increase my Pitocin levels so that labor could really progress. The next 10 hours or so was pretty much a giant game of chicken. The nurses and Dan would rotate me into different positions, hoping Benjamin's heart rate would respond properly. The nurse came in about a million different times to either increase or decrease the amount of Pitocin I was receiving. It definitely got frustrating. Benjamin's heart rate would have the right amount of variability for about 20 minutes, the nurse would come in and up the Pitocin, shortly after Benjamin's heart rate variability would decrease, and the nurse would have to come in and turn it back down. This made for a very long, slow progression of labor. 

They put me on oxygen to try and help Benjamin's heart rate.

Finally, around 4 pm, the nurse came in to check me and told me I was at 8 cm. I was initially excited, because I thought the last 2 cm would go quickly, however my body stalled out at 8 cm for about the next 5 hours. It was around this time (4 pm) that I started getting extremely uncomfortable.

     I had always heard that the epidural takes away the pain, but not the pressure of labor. However, the pressure I was feeling at this point was extremely painful. I honestly felt like Benjamin was trying to burst out of my body through my tail bone. It felt like I needed to poop more than I ever had in my whole life. I honestly wanted to poop, because it felt like maybe that would help the pain and pressure. I thought I could just get through the pain, but when they kept coming in and telling me I was still at an 8, I knew I needed more help. Finally, we had the anesthesiologist come back in and adjust the epidural to hopefully give me some relief. It worked for a little bit, but eventually the pain came back. 

Exhausted and stuck at an 8.

Finally around 11 pm my body started to progress again. By this time I was totally exhausted, but it was exciting to watch the nurses bringing in all the tools that the Dr. would need and turn on the heating bed for the baby. My Dr. came in around 12:30 am and asked me if I wanted to start pushing, or if I'd like to rest for an hour or so, allow the baby to descend some, and then start pushing. I was so sick of sitting around and waiting, plus the pain in my butt was so intense that I thought pushing might give me some relief. 

Heating station for baby boy!

I started pushing just before 1 am, and at first it was one of the best parts of labor! Being able to push through the pain was actually helpful, and it was nice to feel like I was finally doing something. The Dr. came back in a little after 2, and then pushing wasn't that fun anymore. My epidural made it so I didn't feel the abdominal contractions, but I could feel every single thing in my rear end. I seriously thought I was going to die when Benjamin's head was crowning. It felt like I was being ripped open from the inside out. So kinda funny story. Benjamin's head crowned, then I had to wait about 2 minutes for another contraction to come to actually push him out. While these were the most painful 2 minutes of my whole life, once my contraction started and I pushed his head out I felt major relief. It felt so good that I stopped pushing, even though his shoulders weren't out yet. All of a sudden the Dr. was yelling at me that I had to keep pushing. I laugh looking back, because I honestly never thought about the shoulders. I figured I'd push his head out, and then the rest of his body would just follow. I'm sure everyone thought I was a dope :) Between the pain and exhaustion, a lot of the pushing part was a blur. I was quite surprised when everyone told me I had pushed for 2 hours. It felt closer to 20 minutes to me because I was so delirious.

 The moments immediately following Benjamin's birth are also blurry. He made a little cry immediately after being born, but then stopped. The Dr. put him up on my stomach on a warmed blanket. The nursery nurse and I started rubbing him down, but after about 20 seconds the nurse grabbed him and rushed him over to the bassinet because he hadn't breathed again and wasn't pinking up at all. He was a scary grey/blue color. I didn't have a very good view of Benjamin after this because of all the nurses, but suddenly there were a lot of people rushing into the room. The nurse had called a code blue on Benjamin, more nursery nurses came rushing in to help, and eventually the respiratory team came rushing in. For those of you who know what an APGAR test is, Benjamin didn't do a very good job at his 1 minute APGAR. Babies get points for color, and muscle tone, and other things like that. A 10 is a perfect score, but usually anything 8 or above is fine. Benjamin got a 2 on his first APGAR. He got one point because his heart was beating and he got a point because one of his arms wiggled at one point. That was it. He wasn't breathing on his own, he didn't have any color. The five minutes following his birth were the scariest minutes of my life. My OB tried to distract me, talking to me about stitches and stuff, but I was so worried about my little baby boy. They had to give him oxygen, but luckily he started breathing on his own shortly after. By his 5 minute APGAR he received a 7, which was a major improvement. 

baby boy getting a little extra help from the nurses.

Benjamin Roy was born at 2:50 am on February 6, 2015. He weighed 8 lb 8 oz and was 20 inches long. His head circumference was around 38 cm, but it was only that big because he had a giant puffy bruise that covered the entire back of his head from being stuck in the birth canal for so long. Benjamin was pretty beat up from the birthing process. The right side of his head had a long scratch that had broken skin and given him a black eye, most likely from my tailbone. He also had a pretty good size goose egg on the right side of his forehead. The poor little guy, I felt bad that he had such a traumatic entrance into the world, but I'm so grateful that he is doing amazingly well now. He is a handsome little boy!

finally getting to hold him!

daddy and son

The rest of our hospital stay was pretty wonderful! I loved the mommy/baby unit, we had some amazing nurses, lots of family came to visit, and those first few days with our baby were amazing!

Grandma taking a picture of Grandpa holding the newest grand baby 

1st Time Aunt - Kaitlin

Grandma and Kaitlin with Baby Benjamin

Lots of Visitors!

Going home was seriously the weirdest thing! One moment you are in your room being taken care of by the nurses coming in every few hours. Then all of a sudden they say get dressed and pack up, they walk you to your car, and you drive off with the itty bitty baby that you have been dreaming of for 9+ months. It was nerve-wracking to say the least!

Time to go home!

First time home!

I will now be 5 weeks postpartum tomorrow. Benjamin is growing like a weed, and I feel just about normal. What the human body can recover from is amazing!! I still have some weight to lose, and some skin to tighten up, but I'm physically feeling nearly back to myself! As far as labor goes, it definitely was not what I expected. It was so much harder and intense than I ever thought it would be.  There are definitely a few things I would like to change for future labor and deliveries, including things I can control (like my own personal preparation and pain management techniques) as well as things I can't always control (length of labor, the epidurals effectiveness, etc). But the fact that I ended up with a beautiful baby boy means I really can't complain. No matter how traumatic giving birth is (and anyone who has given birth knows it is traumatic, they just don't like to talk about it) it really is a miracle, and the end result is pretty dang awesome!